ED
The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter
The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter.
The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter
Once upon a time,
an old man went up a mountain to cut bamboo.
Oh?
Shining bamboo!
Scary! What is this, a mutation?
A ghost? The occult? Cattle mutilation?
That's totally off...
What on earth is this...
Autumn.
Winter.
Spring, Summer, Autumn.
...happened about a year ago.
Why are you only telling me now?
That was my new year's first dream!
No one cares.
C'mon Sonya-chan, you don't have to be so cold just because it's winter—
Kill Me Baby
Kill Me Baby!
UTW & Mazui Present
Kill Me Baby!
doushita no wasa wasa
What's up? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?
Kill Me Baby!
nan demo naamin
Absolutely Naamin
Kill Me Baby!
yarunara camo camo
Let's do it! Come on! Come on!
Kill Me Baby!
nandato don!
What'd you say?! Boom!
itsumo on-site dakedo slow ride
You're always on-site, but that's why it's a slow ride
homie ni doujinai haraise de toiki da
Homie's nothin' to me! For stress, it's a long sigh
gachi sugite girigiri tomosureba
You're trying too hard, it's a close call
piroshiki motoi dewa auchi nakayoshi
Pirozhki rather! Then? Ouch, friends!
koborusuki mizoochi
Kowalski to the pit of your stomach!
forishi!
Holy shit!
Kill Me Baby!
asobou yo wasa wasa
Let's play! ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?
Kill Me Baby!
damatte naamin
Quiet, Naamin
Kill Me Baby!
doushitemo camo camo
Please! Come on! Come on!
Kill Me Baby!
urusai don!
Shut up! Bang!
itsumo all right dakedo so tight
We're always all right, but that's why we're so tight
kougina best friend nagashime de dotsukuna!
We're best friends, so don't punch me while staring like that!
Kill Me Baby!
kondo ha wasa wasa
Now then ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?
Kill Me Baby!
nanda yo naamin
What now, Naamin?
Kill Me Baby!
mada mada camo camo
Still going! Come on! Come on!
Kill Me Baby!
don!
Boom!
I want to eat mochi…
Mochi?
Don’t you know what mochi is?
It’s like this white mushy kind of food.
Wait, do they call it mochi because it’s mushy?
What a revelation!
I’d better write this down…
I don't get it, but good for you.
That reminds me of something I'd heard about it.
Apparently it has no poison, but you can still kill people by making them eat it.
No no, it's not like it always gets stuck in your throat!
And making it is fun, too!
It's called Mochitsuki.
I think I've seen that before.
That wooden hammer looks pretty strong.
You really do see everything as a weapon...
I want to have you try Mochitsuki...
Though I'm sure this school wouldn't have a mortar or hammer...
It does!
Agiri-san's voice??
Where from?
She just called.
I heard you talking about Mochitsuki.
Agiri
I'll prepare everything in the clubroom, so drop by later.
Yay!
But why do you have that?
It's a basic tool for ninjas.
Do you use it for techniques or training or something?
No, but freshly pounded mochi is delicious!
After school
After school.
Ninja Association
And on that note,
we've come to have Sonya-chan try out Mochitsuki!
I'm fine not doing this, you know.
She's not here.
There's the mortar and hammer!
Let's practice before Agiri-san gets here!
Wh-Why...
I figured she was hiding somewhere, but I didn't think...
Welcome!
That gave me a fright...
Body substitution technique again?
I didn't use that at all.
Perhaps you're mistaking it for body clone technique?
Here's the real mortar!
I've also steamed the sticky rice.
Oh, okay...
Well, let's start over!
You can start the pounding first.
Don't stumble and fall over now! Aim for the mochi!
Alright, let's go!
It's over there! Over there!
Amateurs are so useless!
I'll show you how it's done!
Though, this thing is actually pretty heavy...
I prepared a lighter one just in case!
Yay! This will be a lot easier to use!
I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't pound with that.
You're such an amateur.
It's all about how you use the tool!
Allow me to show you how it's done!
Listen to the boss!
Pound mochi!
Do it, do it, do it!
Not me, the mochi!
The mochi!
I love you.
Oh, you...
You don't have to get so mad at a joke!
Anyway, it doesn't matter what tools we use, as long as we have mochi in the end.
There's no way you're making any with that thing.
Then we'll have a contest to see who can make mochi without the hammer.
Whoever loses doesn't get any!
I have no idea where that came from, but you're on!
Let's see... What can I use?
How about this?
This is good! With one pierce...
What happened to the Mochitsuki battle?
Alright, the mochi's ready!
She did it already?!
Well, the sticky rice was getting cold...
So this is mochi?
Alright, show me how to use it.
You mean when people choke on it?
Here!
Thanks!
That won't happen if you're careful when you eat it.
So good!
Well that's boring.
I guess I'll have some too.
Here you go.
What? You already had yours, greedy pig.
So annoying. What is it?
Your neck?
What about it?
You want to be strangled?
No! Mochi got stuck in my throat!
Weren't you saying how that doesn't happen?
And why would you think I wanted you to choke me?
That's just weird! Right, Agiri-san?
I thought she was being too quiet...
I'm sure she's using a feign death technique, right?
Alright, come on.
Substitution's substitution technique.
Killtaro.
Once upon a time in Japan, there was an assassin called Killtaro who completed every job without fail.
Peaches.
Delicious!
One day, Killtaro took on a request to exterminate demons.
Hey, it's Killtaro-san!
I'm a huge fan of yours!
Where are you going?
Get lost, stray dog!
Let me come with you!
You're annoying, so no.
I'll follow you anyway!
Don't underestimate a dog's tracking skills!
Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof
I'll give you a reward as a loyal follower then.
Millet dumplings!
I've always wanted to try one!
Killtaro-san!
A pheasant?
I heard you're going to exterminate some demons.
Just so you know, I'm not taking you.
That's not it...
Demon Killer
Demon slayer!
Demon Killer
I'll make it cheap for you!
What do you think?
No, I'm fine.
Killtaro-san! I'm a monkey!
I'll do anything, so take me with you! Please!
Mortar!
Bee!
Chestnuts!
Crab!
Why is this happening to me?!
What's this?
You can have it.
After a journey filled with trials and battles, Killtaro finally reached the island of demons.
So this is the island of demons?
Peaches...
Delicious!
Someone's eating our peaches!
They're being stolen!
Scandalous!
How could you eat the peaches that these children worked so hard to grow?
So cruel! What a demon! A demon!
You demon! Demon! Demon! Demon! Demon!
Thereafter, the island became known as Demon Island.
And everybody lived happily ever—
That wasn't happy at all!
Zombie Baby
Zombie Baby!
This way's no good either.
Sonya-chan, leave this to me!
I have some items!
Really?
Begone, evil spirits!
That's for vampires!!
Dammit!
She just made it worse!
I'm going to suck your blood!
And she's still got it wrong!
Morning!
Oh no! We're going to burn away!
Like I said, that's vampires.
Farewell, everyone!
Placebo's pretty amazing...
That was my new year's first dream!
How about you just leave it at one.
Sonya-chan!
Do you want to play Fukuwarai or Sugoroku?
What's that?
Traditional Japanese games played for New Year!
Let's play together!
Not interested.
We totally have to! It'll be fun!
Here's the blindfold and dice!
No thanks.
Fine, then there's a curse if you don't!
What do you mean "then"?!
Too bad, if you decide you want to play later, it'll be too late.
I got 5!
Eyebrows...
Whoops, it turned. Go back 2.
Oh, 9! Nice, I get the stomach!
This makes no sense!
Ta da!
I actually prepared another traditional Japanese game!
What do you think this is?
A kite?
Nope, it's a squid!
How can you not see that, you squidhead—
And if I had answered squid, you would have said it was a kite.
Right you are.
After school
After school.
Did we have to make a detour all the way out here?
Yep. There's a good wind today.
I see.
Well, have fun.
Why leave? It'll be fun!
Fine then.
I'll use this kite with your portrait on it so I don't get lonely.
Killer Sonya
Hey!
Let's go!
Don't just watch! Help me!
You seemed to be having fun already.
Hold this and run with it.
It's cold. I don't want to run.
Good pace! Keep that up!
Kite strings hurt...
I'm sure you can fly a kite by yourself.
How?
Use a shorter length of string first, then run with that.
I kind of look like a ham now...
Listen!
Okay then, show me!
What a hassle...
If you run like this,
it'll slowly rise—
Like that.
Get it?
You fell!
I'm sorry, I understand.
Like this... Whoops, I fell.
I'm going to break this.
Please, no! I'll be serious!
Wow, it's flying!
Seeing a squid in the air is really weird.
Really? I think it's cute.
A crow!
It was shot down.
It must have thought it was food.
Do birds like squid?
I have no idea.
Fine then.
I'll just do this...
Alright! No crows!
Now it's even weirder.
Other people are flying kites too.
They are!
So high, too!
Alright, I'll go compete with them!
Compete at what?
Damn you, Koheita!
Darling!
Our strings tangled and they got mad at me...
Don't go over there.
It's cold...
Hold this while I go buy something warm to drink.
Why do I have to...
Oh no!
You're so mean! You broke it!
Sorry.
We can't get it up there...
Fine, we'll use the backup.
Wait, that's...
It's fine!
Killer Sonya
It looks like someone else now.
Killer Sonya
Something else...
Yay!
Watch where you're running.
It's fine! I won't cry if I fall!
And it's all grass around here anyway!
It's cold! Save me!
Like I said...
Save me! Hurry!
No thanks. You can reach the bottom anyway.
How did she know?
I figured you were trying to drag me down with you.
Anyway, are you okay with that?
Wait! Wait!
Dammit! Dammit!
Is that the string for that kite?
Gotcha!
I'm so cold... At this rate, I'll die.
Whose fault do you think this is?
Oh! Nice!
Pride Bath
Let's go take a bath, Sonya-chan.
What?
There's actually a bath here?
Bath
It's called a public bath.
C'mon, if we don't hurry up, we'll catch a cold.
Two please.
Go right ahead.
What's with that guy?
He's just the attendant.
C'mon Sonya-chan, hurry up.
What's wrong?
Don't tell me when you fell into the water, it made you forget how to unbutton your shirt?
Of course not.
I'm fine with not going in.
What're you talking about?
We already paid.
Well, uh...
First off, an assassin shouldn't be nude in public.
You just made that up!
D-Don't tell me...
...she has a bunch of stuff on her body that she can't tell anyone about?!
C'mon! Take it off!
I wanna wash your back!
No thanks!
I don't want to know what you're planning by trying to wash my back.
I won't do anything bad!
See? Isn't this nice?
Yeah.
Milky Baby
Hello! I'm Yasuna!
I'm a magical girl who came from the land of magic to train!
Sparkling Gym
I always mess up, but I'm trying my best to become a splendid magical girl!
Sparkling Gym
And today, I'm...
...getting beat up in the ring.
Hey! You shoulda dodged that punch!
I-I can't do it anymore.
Let me concede!
Throw in the towel already!
You idiot! I ain't doing that!
You need to earn all the money needed to repair the roof of my gym!
No way...
I don't know if you're a magical-something-or-other, but you've got guts.
Y-You're good...
You too.
Y-You're good.
You too.
Wait, you're not doing anything!
Stop trying to trick me!
I'm going to end you!
Now's my chance!
Milky Staff!
Nice!
Use whatever you have to win, even magic!
Th-This is...
Carrot Max Forward Miracle!
Alright!
You moron!
What're you doing?!
That was my New Year's first dream.
Do you understand what "first" dream means?
I wish I could use magic.
Ridiculous.
How?
It might be possible.
This is...
No way...
It's just a toy.
We won't know till we try!
Carrot Max Forward Miracle!
Ta-da!
Of baths, mochi, and New year's dreams.
arashi ga sugita ato ni
Now that the storm has passed
arashi ga sugita ato ni
Now that the storm has passed
kataru ni mo ochiteiku
It's time to confess
kataru ni mo ochiteiku
It's time to confess
memai wo furihodoite
I shake away my vertigo,
memai wo furihodoite
I shake away my vertigo,
ichi ni san de odori dasu
And with a one, two, three, I dance
ichi ni san de odori dasu
And with a one, two, three, I dance
shi go roku demo odori dasu
Even with a four, five, or six, I dance
shi go roku demo odori dasu
Even with a four, five, or six, I dance
itsu made futari de iru no kana
How long will we stay friends?
itsu made futari de iru no kana
How long will we stay friends?
oishiku dekitara itadakimasu
If you make it worthwhile, we'll see
oishiku dekitara itadakimasu
If you make it worthwhile, we'll see
shiranai mama demo ii no kana
Is it okay if I don't know?
shiranai mama demo ii no kana
Is it okay if I don't know?
hontou no kimochi ha himitsu da yo
My true feelings are a secret
hontou no kimochi ha himitsu da yo
My true feelings are a secret
himitsu da yo
A secret
himitsu da yo
A secret
suki yo anata ga
I love you,
suki yo anata ga
I love you,
koroshitai hodo
So much so that I want to kill you
koroshitai hodo
So much so that I want to kill you
doko made futari de iru no kana
How far will we make it as friends?
doko made futari de iru no kana
How far will we make it as friends?
monomane sukiru ga mijuku na no
I'm pretty bad at impersonations
monomane sukiru ga mijuku na no
I'm pretty bad at impersonations
tanoshii jikan ga ii no kana
Is it really okay to be having fun?
tanoshii jikan ga ii no kana
Is it really okay to be having fun?
hontou no kimochi ha himitsu da yo
My true feelings are a secret
hontou no kimochi ha himitsu da yo
My true feelings are a secret
himitsu da yo
A secret
himitsu da yo
A secret
Next Time
An envoy of two days and one night.
An escape for three days and two nights.
The reckless violence deceives the bloody fate.
The smell of mint in the air.
The cradle, on the verge of tipping,
is but a distant bittersweet memory.
The scream over thundering waves
Gets silenced by the evil claw
Next time, on Kill Me Baby.
Kill number twelve.
Of Chocolate, Sleep, and Wounds
Now, what will you do, Oribe Yasuna?